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- More and more of our imports come from overseas...
- We are searching for rational reasons for believing in the absurd
- I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn`t met me yet
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
- Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle
- Men invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain
- If I am what I eat then I am cheap, quick, and easy
- A honest person is someone you could play checkers with over the phone
- On the road of life, don`t forget to stop and eat the roses
- Life is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid
- Love me or leave me. Hey! Where`s everybody going??
- I can`t wait to see how you look when I`m naked
- Its a shame that stupidity isn`t painful
- May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
- Take my advice, I don`t use it anyway
- It tastes like burning
- Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?
- A clean house is a sign of a misspent life
- There`s too much blood in my caffeine system
- Some people say shoot instead of shit. They can't fool me, man. Shoot is shit with two o's
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